What is Domestic Discipline?
Domestic Discipline offers an alternative lifestyle for couples, polyamorous families, and others. The ideas discussed here will refer to a couple. However, as is the way of the BDSM lifestylers, all things can be adapted to suit the desires of the group.
So, what is the most formal definition of domestic discipline (DD)? Domestic discipline is a consensual relationship between two adults who have agreed to the use of corporal punishment as a direct method for discipline.
The scope of a domestic discipline relationship is broad and deep. There are many traditional relationships, such as Christian marriages, where a man acts as the head of the household. In many spanko relationships, DD is implemented as both a form of punishment or discipline. Spanking is used as foreplay, or simply as a form of “maintenance” discipline. There are many people who visit a spanking therapist, female or male dominant, professional dominant, and others in order to regularly receive DD style corporal punishment.
When it comes to Spanking Studios, the greatest intent of our productions is to demonstrate a DD scene. Corporal punishment consists of a serious spanking followed by painful anal sex, or “painal,” as a method of discipline. Spanking studios wants to provide viewers with a scene where an infraction has been committed by the bottom and will be handled through spanking punishment.
Setting Up a Domestic Discipline Relationship Dynamic
The healthiest domestic discipline relationships are based on a mutual respect for one another. Rules are typically negotiated, sometimes as a formal process, and more often as a development over time.
An example of the formal process is a situation where the top and the bottom come together to talk about rules, goals, etc. The consequences for breaking rules, missing goals, and more are also agreed to. Consequences may be a simple as “the bottom will receive a spanking that fits the seriousness of the infraction.”
Alternatively, a list of consequences is determined beforehand. For example, if a wife has agreed that she will be punished for showing up late to appointments, it may be agreed that she will receive 10 strokes of the paddle for each minute that she is late. These strokes may be prescribed over clothes, or on the bare bottom. They may be delivered as soon as possible, or there may be a scheduled weekly appointment set aside specifically for all infractions to be dealt with at once.
The most important components of a domestic discipline relationship are:
- Trust is the most critical part of a DD relationship. The bottom has to know that the top is delivering discipline according to their agreement. She/he must be able to know that she will be disciplined according to the infractions and their limits. Pushing or breaking limits is strictly a breach of trust, unless it has been agreed on and consented to.
- Compatibility is important between DD participants. Two people that don’t have a cohesive understanding of each other, or who perceive their disciplinary theories differently, or who just don’t “click” with one other, are not going to retain the benefits of the relationship. In fact, things may go south quickly and result in two or more very unhappy people.
- Communication must be a huge part of any adult relationship, but it is absolutely integral for the success of any BDSM relationship. When it comes to corporal punishment, communication is necessary to help form the trust, determine compatibility, and allow learning and adaptation to take place between the participants.
- Education may seem to some like a silly side step for this type of relationship. “It’s just a disciplinary spanking thing, right?” Wrong. If you don’t understand the fundamentals of any type of BDSM, impact play, rope play, or similar relationship, you need to learn before you start wielding a heavy implement.
Oh, sure. A wooden spoon, maybe even a belt, or your bare hand may be perfectly sublime. However, swinging a heavy wooden school paddle, or a 30 inch rattan cane takes, at a minimum, some very real practice. The best recommendation is to attend a class on corporal punishment and spanking.
It’s important to understand the fundamentals of your relationship, as well as the methods to be used. A large part of the initial stages of a DD relationship is open discussion and negotiation.
An example before discussion:
She broke the rules. Whatever it was, she did something that she knew she should not have done and disobeyed her top.
She and her top have discussed consequences. For this particular infraction, she is already aware that she will be receiving a harsh spanking and caning on her bare bottom without a warm-up. This is very heavy and she is very anxious.
However, she knows that she broke the rules. She has agreed to allow her top to discipline her through the use of corporal punishment, because it makes her more successful and more settled in her way of life.
She is instructed to bend over and pull down her jeans and panties to expose her bare bottom. She follows direction, pressing her hands onto the cool fabric of the comforter, arching her back slightly, and spreading her feet, as she already knows she will be instructed to do.
What has been discussed in the past is as follows:
- She will receive the number of strokes decided by her top. She has consented to this and, by taking part, obeying, and allowing the spanking to take place, she is still offering her consent.
- She is not to wiggle out of place and not listening during the spanking may result in additional spanking to remind her to sit still.
- Her top will pay close attention to her body language, reactions to strokes, skin color/condition of her bottom, and overall health. That doesn’t mean that her bottom isn’t going to be black and blue at the end of the spanking. It means that her top will not cross the agreed upon lines.
The punishment begins as the hard wood of the paddle strikes it first blow on her ass. The first stroke, especially for a punishment spanking, is always the worst without a warm up. (Punishment spankings often take place without a warm up.)
Her top takes her through a twenty count, not relenting the intensity of each blow. There is a pause between strokes to allow her to retain composure, but not enough to relax from the burning sting of the paddle. She counts each stroke out loud, moaning through tears by the 5th, but staying faithfully in position.
Now, twenty paddle strokes in, she can feel the fiery heat of her ass washing across the backs of her thighs, around her hips, and, for many bottoms, in her crotch. It hurts very badly, but it also feels very good. She feels secure; cared for; taken in hand and held inside strong arms.
Next comes the cane. She is only given a moment to rest before she feels the rattan brush against her skin and then tap a few times. It stops, indicating the first stroke is about to happen.
Caning commences, each stroke leaving a charge of lightning bolts across the path of the implement. Twenty of those and she is almost numb. Headspace slowly becomes apparent as she rests and finally is allowed to lay down on the bed.
Her top sets the cane down and lays beside her. He holds her as she cries and she feels the release of having been punished.
Now, there are points in this example to be made. Through communication, negotiation, and the acceptance of individual roles, both the bottom and the top have entered into a relationship based on the mutual agreement and consent. They have both, hopefully, realized their need for this type of relationship and embraced it together.
Negotiation isn’t just about setting limits and agreeing to certain boundaries. Negotiation also sets a precedent for future encounters. It sets a baseline which allows all parties to grow, expand, and increase the intensity of their play.
True Portrayal of Domestic Discipline Punishments at Spanking Studios
At Spanking Studios, as we gradually increase our coverage and work with more models, we are also adapting and molding our format to meet a certain standard. Our mission is to provide our audience with true-to-life spanking and anal punishments, not just for the purpose of sexual arousal and masturbation material, but also to give our models an experience that we believe is unique and special.
Corporal punishment, especially when applied for specific behaviors or infractions, allows the release of guilt and the refreshing feeling of penance. This isn’t about the enforcement of one will on another. This is about retribution, as well as about the intense sexual experience that comes with it. It is an expression of creative control over oneself through the giving of power to another. This is our eroticism, expressed through the reddening of naughty bottoms.